Monday, May 2, 2011

Healing In a Dream, In a Song and In a Vision

In three months I'll be Mrs. Bingle.
If you've ever planned a wedding you know there is a lot to do. There is preparation in the natural and spiritual. I want to be ready for both.

One thing that I have been asking of God is that I would be clean from all past relationships. I don't want to take anything to my marriage bed that isn't pure, and I want to fully give myself to the one I'm pledging myself to. Let me tell you this has been a process for at least three years now. I thought this process was over, until I had a dream several days ago.

I dreamed I was married to another man, one that I used to have a huge crush on from seventh grade till forever. We lived in a messy house with lots of animals. We also lived in a second house that my father lived in. Every day I would come home from work to a disgusting house and no matter how hard I tried to clean it never got clean.

When I woke up I thought, OK how are these two men linked in my life? I got no response that I could hear. Later that day I was riding in the car with my fiance to our friend's house for a pancake dinner. (By the way, it was yummy!) I thought of the dream and asked God, "What is the link between these two men?"

I heard, "rejection." I thought, "I"m not rejected. No, not me." It was then that I felt the emotion of rejection. I engaged it and realized that is was deep, then the tears came and the sobbing followed. Nathan was like, "What is going on?"

I told him about the dream and about what I heard the Lord say and asked him to pray. He felt we should worship. When he said that I saw my friend in her "piano" room singing over me while I laid on the floor.

When I got to her house I asked her if she would sing over me just like I saw in the vision. She was more than happy to do that. So I assumed the position and laid on the floor, while she sang a song that she had written about her and Jesus called, "Beloved."

As she began to sing I began to cry and snot all over myself and her carpet, but I didn't care. It was then that I saw a vision of myself with a brown box. I was taking the box to the foot of the cross. I went to leave it there and the Lord said to me, "Wait, open it."

I did not want to do that, because I knew it was a box of bottled up pain that I didn't want anything to do with. I opened it anyways, after He prodded me. A white bird flew out. I felt the Lord say that He didn't throw things away when they were broken, He fixed them and made them new. He'd given me freedom from my wounds. He'd made me new!

It was then that my friend stopped playing and asked if I was O.K. She then leaned over to her bookshelf and handed me a brown box. I almost fell out. It was just like the box I had seen moments ago in the vision, which she knew nothing about. I asked her what was in the box and she said she didn't remember. But that whatever it was, it was good. So I opened it.

Inside was a little angel pin and a white piece of paper with two verses.

That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. (Isaiah 43:4)
I've never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love! (Jeremiah 31:3)

It was exactly what I needed! His love!

I felt like the Lord told me I would never cry over this wound again, because he had healed me and made me whole with His love!

I"m always so amazed at the wonder of God.
Now it's easy to read this and go, "Wow, she must really be spiritual." The truth is, I'm no more spiritual than anybody else who loves Jesus and is seeking after Him. I was just desperate to hear His voice, get healed and walk in peace. I believed that He loved me enough to answer me and He will do the same for you! Just ask, wait and engage Him. He'll give you His love!

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